I want strong coffee and a lot of guacamole!

I hate to be disappointed. Of course it’s going to happen in life and is something that we come to expect and even prepare ourselves for. At work I am often disappointed by a debtor not following thru with a payment or a client not placing business when they said they would. But when disappointment enters into the one of my biggest pleasures, I get really angry.

The next time that I go to a Mexican restaurant and ask for guacamole I better get a whole avocado’s worth of guacamole. Not this ridiculous little tablespoon in a mini bowl for which I am expected to pay $5! Same goes for sour cream. If I am going to eat something I want it all, I want the whole experience, not a taste!

Same goes for coffee. I don’t want weak coffee! I want coffee that makes your heart stop and WAKES YOU UP! Not some watered down version of the real thing. Speaking of coffee I also want to be clear that when I ask for cream. I am not referring to the little plastic doo-dad filled with some sort of chemical version of milk that never goes bad. I want half and half or milk. I want the real deal not an imitation.

Butter. There is nothing wrong with butter! I want unsalted real butter. Not this weird stuff that is literally part plastic. I want butter; butter is one of the most amazing beautiful things in this world. I want a lot of it!

Cream cheese. When I get a bagel with cream cheese I want gobs of the stuff. Cream cheese is a decadent wonderful addition to a bagel. You don’t lightly spread cream cheese; you slather the stuff on at least a half inch thick! Or just don’t bother…

Ketchup. On the rare occasion that I go to a fast food restaurant and get a burger and fries, I want ketchup. How are you going to hand me a “super size” fries and then two little packets of ketchup? What the hell? I want at least like seven of those little ketchup packets. Or even better how about we make the ketchup packets for grownups and include maybe more that a squirt per packet. How come no one has handled this issue?!?!?!?

Overall I just want more. I want real food and I don’t want to feel cheated when it is put in front of me. Disappointment is a part of life and I get that. But food is a simple pleasure and if you love it I know you feel me on this, don’t fix what isn’t broken or skimp on the good stuff. Life is short!!! Use your good china and buy the good wine. Eat real butter… Trust me.

Grateful

I woke up this morning and got my coffee then climbed back in bed and turned on the TV to watch the news. It’s 9/11… I felt so stupid that I hadn’t seen that coming. All day yesterday I was at the office writing the date and it never occurred to me that 9/11 was coming?

Like everyone else I remember where I was when it happened. I had just returned to London from the Canary Islands and was already in my own international life crisis. It was afternoon in London and I was on the phone with Dan here in the states. It was early morning here and we were discussing my return to the states and planning the start of Greentree & Associates. He put me on hold for a second and came back on the line and told me a plane had hit one of the twin towers. We hung up and literally every cell phone and phone in the flat started ringing. I answered the house phone and it was Scott yelling at me to turn on the TV. Scott and I were breaking up and we were barely speaking so it was kind of a strange feeling to even hear his voice let alone the tension and forcefulness in it. I turned on the TV and started changing channels thinking the same movie was on every station. It took a few seconds for it to really sink in that this was real.

We sat there in silence watching the same footage over and over. Then the second plane hit. For the next hour it literally felt like it was never going to end. The news in Europe posted maps of the U.S. with the words “America under attack”. It was a nightmare. It took hours to get thru to my mother in the states and when I finally got thru we stayed on the phone for more than an hour not wanting to break the connection. I wanted to get home immediately but that door had closed and I was stuck in Europe whether I liked it or not until further notice. Thus began the almost two weeks of waiting for a flight to get home and the constant questioning of my decision not only to get on a plane but to leave Scott and London.

Tony Blair was on the television addressing Americans that were in England. He told us we were safe however suggested we avoid public congregation…

There were several temper tantrums and tears during the several days I was waiting to come home. My whole life felt like a mess. Scott and I have talked at length about those days and how we felt. We have wondered about what would have happened if we had made different choices but in the end it is clear that we are exactly who we are supposed to be and where we are supposed to be now. I really cherish his friendship and appreciate that we remain friends to this day. We went thru a really crazy couple years roaming around the planet being young and stupid. Good times…

This morning I sat in bed watching the news with Milo and Benny and thought about that day 9 years ago. How different everything is now and how even after all this time when I think about the people on flight 93 and the people in the towers I still get emotional. Sometimes when I think back to that time in my life I don’t even recognize myself. I’m so grateful for the life that I have now and actually grateful for the lessons I learned from the life I had then. Today I think I will hug Benny a couple more times than usual and make sure to call my ma & pa and tell them I love them. Today I will be grateful…

I'm the last one to quit...

This past weekend was so fun. We spent the long weekend with our friend Oonagh. She is a fabulous friend and one of the few people I consider to be as insane as I am.

The whole weekend was planned around drinking wine and hanging out on the patio listening to music and chatting. Come to find out Oonagh quit smoking! One less person to smoke with... I can't believe how I am surrounded by quitters!!!

I woke up yesterday, the first day back to the daily grind and literally had a hard time catching a breath. My sinuses were all jacked up and I just felt poisoned. SO here I am again at the place I have been so many times realizing that the clock keeps ticking and I am the last one to quit. We have made such a strong commitment to eating clean and so far have done really well. It only makes sense that this would be next for me. It is such a gross habit but oh how I love a ciggie and a good glass of wine. But the reality is that I am 35 and really at the age where I will either quit or it will start to get ugly.

Therefore I am declaring (once again) that I shall quit smoking. I didn't smoke yesterday so today would be day two. This will get ugly so send Benny your prayers and frequent flyer miles....

wine doesn't count!

It has been a particulary challenging couple weeks for us. We have held tight to the "diet" though and haven't eaten any meat or chemicals. With that being said I must confess that we took a vote last Friday and decided that we were going to drink wine and I even smoked.... I know I know it's horrible but I don't care!

We both feel great and actually haven't missed meat at all. I admit I miss chips but we have gotten really creative and Benny is really rockin out the vegetarian recipes.

I can't even imagine us not drinking wine. We love a good merlot and I must say that some of my favorite memories in life have involved hanging out with friends and drinking wine. I can't tell you how many times I have sat with Dale and drank wine and giggled all night, or Shanna, Or Tina, Or my mother, or Monique, the list goes on and on. I just love wine! So I'm not giving it up, I just won't.